2010, Less Future, More Bacon

So here I am, a little tea pot.  Short and stout.  Ready to bring you the future of goose.  As with most sequels you’ll probably bet this one will not be as good as the original.  You’d be wrong.  I promise future goose will be equally funny and entertaining as past goose.  How do I know?  He came back in time through his bacon powered time machine to tell me so.

Will this be another good year for goose?  Probably.  You can never be 100{715831c98cd51704d8a8e049961b3c433c7d3a35f7efeaaa7c747028c68478a7} certain but there is nothing stopping me from making it a good year.  Positive thinking right?  That’s the way to get ahead in this world.  That and a great set of melons.  Mostly the melons.  Melons………….

Where was I?  Oh yeah.  Techno.  So I promised I’d come up with my list of goals for the 2010 campaign.  Here it is in writing, on the internets.  Which means I’ll have to do it or else you’ll be able to taunt me and call my liar, liar, pants on fire.

Buy a road bikeDone.

– Ride my new road bike 180 miles from Columbus Ohio, to Athens, Ohio in Pelotonia.  It’s for cancer.

– Go faster than 26mph on my bike.  How high can I set the bar this year?

– Continue working that shape.  Man boobs begone!

– Reach my maximum Pelotonia weight before the ride.  240 pounds.  Can I hit 220?

– Get another certification.  Security+?  CCNA?  So many choices and I’ve got to do one.

– Read at least one book for “personal growth.” No picture books here my friends.  And not that kind of personal growth.  Dirty.  Filthy.  Minds.

– Reconnect with at least one friend each month.  Even with all our magical tube tools it’s so hard to stay in touch.

– Cook.  Something new.  Something other people would like to get in their bellies.  Bacon may need to be involved.

– Try something new.  I’ll toss in one stipulation for this one.  Can’t be bicycle related.

So there we go, ten goals to meet in 2010.  I’ll do it cause I’m awesome.  Can you come up with some goals and meet them this year?  Let’s try together.  Till then, take care and funk on.

Ninja monkeys are meeting as we speak, plotting my demise. This is not just an idle statement, no. This is a promise, a threat, and a homonym. Sometimes I have to apply ointment to the elephant in the room while in other instances pants are opshunal. Never forget to have a beer and enjoy the conversation.

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