Happy Valentines Day

That’s right. It’s that time of year where if you are in a relationship you are better than everyone else. Also the women get to show off how whipped their men are. Men, we get to show how neutered we are. The fat cats at hallmark are smoking money while fucking hookers, and single people are drinking their favorite cheap style of booze.

Happy Valentines Day

Me? I think this will be my vice of choice for the evening. Boy does their slogan have a double meaning there. Yahtzee!

For those of you lucky enough to run around town spending way too much on flowers and candy for that special harpy of yours, here are some tips from playboy.

Ninja monkeys are meeting as we speak, plotting my demise. This is not just an idle statement, no. This is a promise, a threat, and a homonym. Sometimes I have to apply ointment to the elephant in the room while in other instances pants are opshunal. Never forget to have a beer and enjoy the conversation.

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