Saw III

I got to see Saw III Friday night when it opened.  It fulfilled my blood lust for maybe a week or so.  The gore was fantastic! I think they definitely beat out The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning on the gore aspect.  Of course gore can be categorized into one of my three B’s.  Beer, Blood, and Bitches, I’ll let you decide which one.  So it obviously made me happy.  Tip of the hat to the director.

The story line was satisfying.  Not good, not bad, just ok.  I won’t get into the story, thats what the big boy reviewers do.  It continued on from the first two movies, and the story kept Jigsaw’s methodology going.  It wraps up the “Trilogy” nicely.

But some fucking ass clown decided to throw in some Friday the 13th style scare tactics.  Having someone stand behind another person quietly, and then having them turn around to a loud noise is no longer scary.  What makes the saw movies scary is the idea of what we would do if we were put into life or death situations like those presented in the movie.  I fart on you Mr. Director man.

Now here is something interesting that I hadn’t thought about as I left the theater.  I was smiling too much.  Firstly because the gore, well, it gives me a chubby.  And that meant I got to go home and kill a kitten.  Second cause all the little high school kids had to go home and go to sleep cause it was past their bedtimes.  But in this movie review from the Boston Harold, which doesn’t like the gore, brings up an interesting point.  This was gore-infested.  Why didn’t it get an NC-17 rating?  Their point is what had to be cut from the movie to get it down to R?  My point is, how much did it cost the producers to get the MPAA to give it the R rating?

Ninja monkeys are meeting as we speak, plotting my demise. This is not just an idle statement, no. This is a promise, a threat, and a homonym. Sometimes I have to apply ointment to the elephant in the room while in other instances pants are opshunal. Never forget to have a beer and enjoy the conversation.

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