Archive for January, 2010

Eostre, This is my Bike, This is my Gun

January 27th, 2010

So I’m already off to a good start this year.  That list will be gone in no time!  Getting this post up rather late, but better than never.

– Buy a road bike.

Got a super duper deal and one hell of a bike.  A 2009 Scott CR1 Pro.  Hells yeah!  I shall name her Eostre, and she shall be a mighty speedster of speeding.  Some pics of the unbox and the put together.

Swanky Cervelo box

Swanky Cervelo box

Hooray for Ultegra!

Hooray for Ultegra!

Bike so light it floats!

Bike so light it floats!

Super comfy seat pampers the goose.

Super comfy seat pampers the goose.

Eostre in front, Squirrel's speed monster in back.

Eostre in front, Squirrel's speed monster in back.

Like I said I got it a little over a week ago now.  Been spinning with it.  Absolutely love it.  I may be stationary while spinning, but I can tell I’m moving at ludicrous speeds.  I can’t wait for some good weather to get it out on the road.  Attach a few pew pew lasers and I’ll be invincible!  So that’s one goal down, nine to go.  And a third posting this month.  Might as well call me a journalist with all this entertainment I’m bringing you.  Heyo!  Till next time kiddos, take care and funk on!

2010, Less Future, More Bacon

January 14th, 2010

So here I am, a little tea pot.  Short and stout.  Ready to bring you the future of goose.  As with most sequels you’ll probably bet this one will not be as good as the original.  You’d be wrong.  I promise future goose will be equally funny and entertaining as past goose.  How do I know?  He came back in time through his bacon powered time machine to tell me so.

Will this be another good year for goose?  Probably.  You can never be 100% certain but there is nothing stopping me from making it a good year.  Positive thinking right?  That’s the way to get ahead in this world.  That and a great set of melons.  Mostly the melons.  Melons………….

Where was I?  Oh yeah.  Techno.  So I promised I’d come up with my list of goals for the 2010 campaign.  Here it is in writing, on the internets.  Which means I’ll have to do it or else you’ll be able to taunt me and call my liar, liar, pants on fire.

Buy a road bikeDone.

– Ride my new road bike 180 miles from Columbus Ohio, to Athens, Ohio in Pelotonia.  It’s for cancer.

– Go faster than 26mph on my bike.  How high can I set the bar this year?

– Continue working that shape.  Man boobs begone!

– Reach my maximum Pelotonia weight before the ride.  240 pounds.  Can I hit 220?

– Get another certification.  Security+?  CCNA?  So many choices and I’ve got to do one.

– Read at least one book for “personal growth.” No picture books here my friends.  And not that kind of personal growth.  Dirty.  Filthy.  Minds.

– Reconnect with at least one friend each month.  Even with all our magical tube tools it’s so hard to stay in touch.

– Cook.  Something new.  Something other people would like to get in their bellies.  Bacon may need to be involved.

– Try something new.  I’ll toss in one stipulation for this one.  Can’t be bicycle related.

So there we go, ten goals to meet in 2010.  I’ll do it cause I’m awesome.  Can you come up with some goals and meet them this year?  Let’s try together.  Till then, take care and funk on.

2009, A Review

January 6th, 2010

So we’re officially in the future again.  Just like the year 2000, we can sit down and come up with a great and amazing list of all the awesome things we’re going to do in this new amazing future.  And I’ll be sure to get to mine soon.  There is plenty of time to not complete it and blame Canada for my failures.  So to prepare for the future we must study the past so that we may learn from those mistakes.  And repeat them.

And repeat them.

Is there an echo in here?  Probably.  You know, I saw a lot of people complaining about what a terrible year 2009 was for them.  I am genuinely sorry to here your year was less than stellar and hope that it wasn’t my gas that ruined the year.  I’m sorry, I was backed up a bit.  Did you lose your job?  Your home?  Your friends?  Family?  Your health?  If you answered yes, that is terrible, and I can only hope you gain them back in 2010.

If you answered no, then turn that frown upside down.  Your year was much better than the boob above.  Right?  Don’t just say you will make things better this year, but set some specific goals for yourself and then do them.  They say that is the way to success.  Making lists.  Not the top ten lists of 2009 that destroyed our souls worse than a polar bear attack.  But an actual useful list with detailed goals that you can work towards and achieve.  As the great and egotistical goose here’s my list from 2009.  Some “firsts” and some points of interest that I am proud of achieving for the year.  Then I’ll come back in a bit and post my goals for 2010.  Good.  Great!  GRAND!  NO YELLING ON THE BUS!

– Bought my first bed.  It is the WIN.

– Bought my first tv.  Shiny.

– Decided I need to not worry about my weight, but instead worry about my health and my shape.

– Got my mountain bike up to 26mph.

– Adopted my first pet.  Steve the Pirate.  Yeargh!

– People told me I look skinnier.

– Paid off my student loans.  Early.

– Got a promotion.

– Decided to buy a road bike and bike 180 miles in two days for Pelotonia.

Nine things.  Good for me.  I could of easily made a list of nine things that sucked about 2009.  But that does me no good.  Mostly cause I can’t honestly blame them on Canada.  Well maybe number four, but that isn’t the point.  The point is that if your glass is half empty get another beer.  We’ll get those goals up here soon.  Until then take care and funk on.