Archive for February, 2006


February 25th, 2006


I saw the most perfecterestering pair of breastasisisis tonight. Happy birthday to me.

Bring fajitas!


February 25th, 2006

So first off, since today is now my birthday by eight minutes, and I’m on my second beer I think it is my right to bitch about something.

I was on my break today. Doing what guys like me do on my break, when I was talking with a couple of the new janitors(We go through janitors at work like I go through crack whores.) One of them commented on how the night before I sounded like I was gonna jump through the phone at a customer. A little exageration there but you get the idea, this customer was not the smartest cookie on the bookshelf.

“Yeah thats the job” I replied. And as we were talking I commented on how at this job I’ve realized that this country is now horrible at communicating. I said exactly

“This country has horrible communication skills.”

One of the guys started defending people saying that I can’t expect them to all be technical and have a deep understang of computers. To which I explained that is not what I’m talking about. Simple statements like left click on the start button in the bottom left corner of the screen is difficult for some people to grasp. Listening skills are horrible. We are in too big of a rush to actually listen to an entire statement from someone. To quote Fight Club.

“They’re listening to me instead of waiting for their turn to speak.”

He then quasi-conceded to my point. Most likely cause he was in too much of a rush to actually listen to me. Point made.

So this brings us to the actual rant.

“Email” does not equat “The Web” which does not equal “Internet.”

The internet is the connection of networks spanning across the world.

Email is one of the things you can do on the internet.

The Web is the collection of webpages into websites on the internet. Therefor the web is something you do on the internet.

I would have to say a large number of the people I deal with on a daily basis have no grasp of the concept that those three terms do not mean the exact same thing. Try taking any three words in the english language and make them all have the exact same meaning and then try and have a conversation with someone. Watch the insanity that insues. Needless to say it can make my job a little difficult to do.

I’m not requiring you to know more advanced things about a computer, but I do ask that if you get on the internet you at least understand some basics like internet, web, and email. I’m not asking you to know what html, http, pop3, smtp, ftp, mean, or even how they work. Hell I don’t care if you know how email works. As long as you know it is not an inter-changable term with internet or web.

Now have a beer for me, it’s my birthday, and if you don’t then fuck you!


February 24th, 2006

Have the day off today, it is my birthday after all. Went to the tire shop to get some new tires. Yeah I know the Red Roller doesn’t need new tires, she needs to be set aside and left to enjoy retirement. But the tires on her had metal sticking out of them. I’m no car expert but I think thats bad.

So the tire place put the new tires on like they do. Guy comes and says he’s pulling my car around. I go stand out side. I watch him start it up, put it in reverse and back out, shakily. Throws it in first, and I can hear him ridin the clutch. When he gets out of the car I say

“Never driven in rush hour before I see.”

“I drive in rush hour all the time.”

“Not in a stick shift you don’t.”

“Sure I do.”

“That’s not what I heard just then.”

And proceeded to continue to bullshit him. He took it in good stride. Then he mentioned my emergency break light was on but “He didn’t think it was working.” I advised him its not told him to have a nice day and went on my merry way.

As I left the tow truck followed all the way to my street. I took that as a bit of a bad omen, and slightly amusing. But I did make it home so that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it. Fuckers.

Happy Birthday!

February 24th, 2006

Happy Birthday to me! I’m 25 so drink bitches!

Think any of you can get me what I really want for my birthday?

Be careful, Tom Cruise is crazy. He might be a little hard to kill, since he is fucking insane.

Like a Record

February 24th, 2006

It goes round and round, never stops, never changes.

Exactly like me. Once an asshole, always an asshole.

I didn’t even get to do anything to be the asshole this time, it was done for me by hypocritical proxy.

Fuck that!

Thanks Michigan!

February 16th, 2006

Last night it snowed, quite a decent amount too.

Today it rained.

Tonight there is a thunderstorm.

Tommorrow we are getting more snow.

God I love this state’s weather.

Happy VD

February 14th, 2006

Happy VD!

MP3 of the Week

February 12th, 2006

Recently stated as my favorite Dave Matthews Band song, I can never get enough of this song. If you have followed my blog for a long time, you have probably seen the lyrics for this song posted many times. This is the version I like the one off of the Listener Supported album. It was requested by Andrea so here it is!

Download Dave Matthews Band’s ::: The Stone :::

You Have to be Fucking Kidding

February 11th, 2006

So I was driving to the car dealership, like you do, to get my headlight cover replaced that appears to have fallen out from my car derby race from Albion to East Lansing Saturday night. Please note I never went above 45mph on 127.

So anyways, they didn’t have the part in for a 93 Izuzu Rodeo, why, I have no fucking clue. I mean you only see thousands of them driving on the road at all times. So they ordered it, said it would be in next week. I thanked them for taking my $60 dollars(That was gonna purchase my new video card) and headed out on my merry way.

Leaving their parking lot my mind melted into a liquid pool of goo, hardened and the exploded making quite the mess in the Red Roller. For in front of me on that oh so nice looking Xterra I saw a licence plate spawned by pure evil.

The licence plate number was “FREDM” from Virginia, it had a little graphic of a pentagon, with a US flag in it, and “9 – 11(Made out of the World Trade Center no less) – 01. Where the state logo usually goes it said “Fight Terrorism.” If only I had my digital camera on me.

How the bloody fuck are you fighting terrorism mr. asshat? By driving your SUV that gets EPA highway (mpg): 21 and EPA city (mpg): 16? My ancient SUV gets better millage than that, especially when I sit in my driveway and hold the gas petal down while it isn’t in gear for hours a day.

Or did some of the money spent buying that licence plate go to the war on terrorism? This isn’t WWII, the goverment doesn’t need more money to fight this war. They need asshats like you to grab an M4 and get blown up by Osama.

So to relieve my brain from the trauma it has taken, I decided to go to Crunchies to grab a brew and a burger. I sat down at the bar and ordered. I was sipping my beer waiting for my burger to come when Wanky McWank sits down next to me. “Double vodka and tonic” he orders, and while the bartender is getting his drink he asks if there is somewhere he can plug his cellphone in so he can make some calls. Who the fuck are you Wanky McWank? You aren’t that important. You made one call to see where your buddy was so you wouldn’t be sitting at the bar along like me. You received no calls. You aren’t important. If you don’t charge your phone overnight guess what? It will run out of power and you won’t be able to make any calls. The world will continue to lurch along while your cell phone is dead. Trust me.

So I shed a tear for Mr. McWank and his HORRIBLE life problems and ate my burger. It was medium, and had cheese and the rub on it. Good eats. I paid my tab and come home eager to share the days stupidities with you. Now I think I will curl up in the corner, masturbate, and weep for the future of this country.

I Want My Broadband

February 7th, 2006

So remember that article a while ago I posted? I said I was gonna read their book. Well I got it today, read about 50 pages before I had to go to work. I think I might of actually gotten through the introduction.

Anyways, I get to work tonight and one of the first articles I find online is about pretty much the same thing. You’ve got cities and counties now, who realize the Bell’s are full of shit. So they’re starting to build the broadband network in their town. Good for fucking them!

But the Bell’s don’t like that, they’re having a hissy fit cause they’re gonna loose money. Rightly fucking so! Here is the link enjoy!