Archive for the ‘Stupid People’ category

I Hacked My Webhost!

November 24th, 2014

I didn’t even mean it! That’s how good of a hacker I am. Just kidding. I did cause my host to go down and got my account all suspended like. Cause I’m a lazy jerk.

hacker

Approximately my skill level of hacking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You see this website is quite old. Currently there are posts going back to 2005. I have some backup data stretching to 2004. There were posts from earlier that are gone, lost due to a lack of backups in the way back. There have been times when I have made very frequent posts, and other points where I have made zero posts. The most recent dry spell was from June 2012 to about June 2014. It’s an interesting time frame when you think about it. Let’s just say two years. For two years it has just sat on my webhost’s server doing nothing. No posts, no checking in on the website. WordPress updates were far and few between. I started posting again in June, and started working on getting everything updated, included the site’s theme. The going was slow, maybe only a few minutes every couple of weeks.

Well one of the plug-ins I had installed had become very out of date during that time. WAY out of date. In fact I think the publisher stopped maintaining it before my last hiatus. Someone took advantage of this hole and crashed the webserver causing my host to suspend my account. Not at all what I had intended to happen. Shame on me for falling behind.

This is a valuable lesson for myself and anyone else out there running a WordPress website. Patch Patch Patch! As frequently as you can. Did that plug-in stop being maintained? Ask yourself if you need it. If you do look for an alternative that is being maintained. Migrate to it immediately. WordPress has gone way out of their way to make patching an incredibly easy process now. Most important of all don’t forget to backup!

Thankfully I was able to work with my host and we got rid of that nasty old plug-in and now everything is honky dory. I’ve done my best to speed things up for refreshing the site. Hopefully I’ll have that ready to go here soon.

The Hulk has me in a Sleeper Hold

March 5th, 2010

I’ve been angry lately.  Real angry.  It has been difficult to deal with and I don’t really have an outlet to get this anger out.  Now normally I’d just point this anger towards some random topic and come up with a great and amazingly funny post to put here.  I’m just not good enough with my words to do that this time.  Punching babies is out either.  The cops keep telling me society frowns on it.  What the hell do they know?  With their badges and fancy disco music.  Pfffttt.

Jesus, what a great start to an emo, passive aggressive post.  That isn’t my point or intention.  Normally it’d be gone after a day or two, I’d drink a beer and feel better.  Not so much here this time.  This anger has been hanging around, checking each night.  With a Russian accent.  So I’ve had to just be patient with it and wait for it to pass.  Still not gone, but I’m feeling better about it.  Starting to find a little positive and I’m a little more balanced.  Whoop di do!

One positive being winter is almost over here.  We keep getting closer.  I can not wait to get outside on Eostre.  Really looking forward to it.  Training has been progressing slowly, which is the nature of the beast, but progressing.  I’m actually feeling like I belong up on a bike instead of a fat guy about to bring you a funny YouTube video of the fat kid crashing.  It would be funny.  I’d wear a clown suit and add comedy sound bites.  Perhaps a cream pie to the face.   Mmmmm…….pie.

I’m closing in on the end here.  Home stretch is in sight.  Just gotta push through.  It’ll probably be difficult but I’m sure I can do it.  Then it’ll be time to sit back, enjoy a beer:30 and cheer the fact that I pushed through the anger and came out better on the other side.  See where positive thinking can get you?  I don’t.  Ha!  Yeah……till next time kids.  Take care and funk on.

You can have your MTV

November 20th, 2008

So you might of caught this, you might not of.  I wanted to write about it when they launched the site, but the sheer magnitude of the site caused my brain to turn into pudding.  Which I ate.  And pooped out.  Then I put it back in my head and used it fertilizer to grow a new brain.  That’s why it took so long.  Anywho, some of you older hipsters might recall a time when the television reigned supreme for our entertainment.  Along those lines came a glorious addition to tv.  It was the M.  The music to your tv if you will.  It was this channel, that played music.  Like all the time.  They had these visual “videos” to go with the music.  Everyone was happy and rejoiced.  Hooray!  And then they broke it.  This masterful channel that played music videos and talked about music all day stopped showing anything remotely close to music.  In fact they stopped showing anything coming close to entertainment.  The masses became angry and said “I want my MTV!” Oh snap!  So like any huge corporation that’s totally evil and not looking out for the comrade’s people’s interest they came out with MTV2.  And it played music all the time, and the people were happy.  Hooray!  Then they broke that and came out with twelve other mtv channels that no one watches.  Lord I should know, I get them all.  I haven’t watched MTV since I finished puberty(Last week.)

So what have they done now?  Well with the onset of the netterwebs and the obvoius follow up of monetizing the netterwebs came mtv.com.  Great!  A website dedicated to information about the music tv channel that never plays music.  At least they have music videos there.  Thats cool.  Too bad the site became a giant cluster fuck of ads about the hills or some stupid shit.  Do you see where this is going yet?  Oh I sure didn’t.  They came from behind and yanked on my penis.  Hard.  And not the good hard.  Because MusicTV’s website, mtv.com, was so clustered, they decided to created mtvmusic.com a website dedicated to music videos.  They called their site MusicTVMusic.  StupidFuckingStupid.  But then again werefuckingwankers.com and imagiantdouche.com were taken.  It’s so hard to find good domains these days.  The tag line for the site is “I want my MTV.”  No kidding.  So do I.

In their defense, the site ain’t half bad.  Tons of videos with a nice design.  Not too many ads, but I’m sure they’ll get that fixed here soon.  The one complaint I have is the quality.  It’s terrible.  I mean sure, I get it, they didn’t shoot Thriller in HD.  But why do brand new music videos look like they were stolen off of some twelve year old’s rip he posted on youtube?  I get you haven’t been able to monetize this yet, but you have the cash to provide some high quality music videos and a chance to get a whole new generation to understand what MTV was suppose to be.  And guess what if people heard about this awesome new site from MTV where they have high quality music videos people would come and watch videos there.  You’ve provided no reason to leave youtube when looking for music videos.  I know I hate looking for a music video on youtube, instead of the video you get some kid playing the base line with some midi track on a keyboard.  Isn’t that the intention of putting up this website?  If not pardon me, and don’t forget to enjoy your tard.  Take care and funk on.

P.S.  You can have your MTV.

Isn’t it Ironic

July 29th, 2008

So I called my old cell phone provider to cancel my service.  Like you do when you get an iPhone.  He keeps trying to retain me.  Like you do when retention is your job.  Other than the iPhone one of the reasons I gave was due to the fact that since I’ve moved to Columbus I’ve had alot of random calls drops, voicemails with no calls, and so forth.  General connectivity oddities(Say that three times fast.)  He went on and on about how they’re always working on improving the coverage and how I hadn’t called before about it.  I said it wasn’t a huge deal, but can get frustrating when calls just randomly drop.  He said he understood, and by this point I had played the game and let him attempt to retain.  So he said he set my account to cancel at the end of the billing cycle, which is in a couple of weeks, and was reading through the disclaimers and things he is required to say when guess what happened.

The call dropped.  Heyo!  It’s like I’m some sort of smarty pants sub-genuis type.  Now to call them back and make sure it canceled.  Oh, no.  He canceled it right then, that’s why it dropped.  Good customer service?

Global Warming Just Made the List

July 9th, 2008

http://www.nosocialism.com/2008/07/nasa-backtracks-on-1998-warmest-year.html

Watch the video at the bottom from the BBC.  It’s good.

Oops.  Did I just pwn my sticky goo of justice all over global warming?  Better put it to good use hippies, I hear my sticky goo of justice is full of protein.  Maybe it’ll put some hair on the chest too.

Honestly, what have we done about global warming so far?  Other than just alot of rable rable?

Oh, we spent a ton of money turning corn into an ineffecient fuel that no one uses.  Now people outside of Somalia are starving.  Even I’m loosing weight.

We’ve ensured the growing populations of polar bears will continue to grow till they overthrow us(All hail our new polar bear overlords!)  Didn’t Colbert teach you hippies anything?  Oh thats right, you watch Stewart.

We made some more solar, electic, and hybrid cars, none of which anyone can afford, and none of which a large number of people buy.  I’m guessing that’s cause gas is so expensive.  Hey-Oh!

Here’s what we should do.  Just declare war on global warming.  With the war on drugs and terror, we’ll have a trifecta of wars.  Like a trilogy.  Everything is better in trilogies.  The three wars of fuck!  We could get t-shirts and coffee mugs, all we need for enough people to buy the stuff and then I can retire to the lovely new beachfronts of Greenland.  Maybe take a trip on a sub to visit Miami.  Hooray!

Haha.  Sticky goo of justice.  Sometimes I kill myself.  And kittens.

Smarty Pants

June 25th, 2008

I hate talking politics.  Well honestly, no I do like talking politics, its just that no one else does.  People like their views and aren’t going to change them due to having to admit they were wrong in the first place.  Especially when alchohol is added to the mix, people become really…..wow.  I’d link to a clip of South Park’s “Rable Rable” but that just seems to cliche.

Anyways none of this has a point.  You know that.  I know you know, I know you know, I know you know…..right.  The actual reason for starting to write was the fact that I’ve noticed over the last year or so, my political views shifting towards the right.  Not the scary right, I’m just moving a little farther away from the scary left.  And the hippies.

I’d like to just point out that hippy hating has been medically proven to remove heart conditions.  It is seriously such a great way to get healthy.  Just go out to a park, find some hippies doing their hippy thing and yell at em for a while.  You’ll be amazed at how great it makes you feel.  I’m super cereal.

It isn’t that I now agree with Republicans or no longer agree with Democrats.  I don’t.  It’s that choosing a side is pointless.  I’m not saying because “they screw me over equally.”  I say it because I don’t care.  None of it has any relevance to my life.  This isn’t Glenn Beck talking, I don’t listen to Beck because he’s right.  It’s cause he’s fucking hilarious.

There’s no need to debate global warming.  Know why?  Cause in 50 and 100 years the planet will be hotter colder.  You’re children will be just fine.  Their children will be just fine.  They’ll all be fine, you will have provided them with a world they can live in.  Polar bear be dammed, I promise you they’ll be fine.  The idea of providing them a perfect world to live in is illogical at best anyways.  Of course there will be problems in their world, maybe the same ones we have, maybe new ones.  I have no fucking clue, and anyone that pretends to have a clue is a jackass.  What’s important is that you raised your children smart enough to know which problems to worry about, and how to solve those problems.  Right?  Right?

Apathy – 1  You – 0

Oh yeah, go hate on some hippies.  Moral of the story is, if you hate on a hippie, goose kills a kitten.  And that is always a good policy.

What does this make me?

May 10th, 2008

If I go to a bar and sip beer while watching drunk younger ladies play volleyball, what does that make me? Does it make me a creepy old man? Or does it make me this guy?

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I say it makes me awesome!

Stupid People? You decide!

May 8th, 2007

Not really.  They’re stupid.  Just read the article.  You’ll understand I promise.  I’m not saying starbucks is stupid….That isn’t who is stupid in today’s story kids.  You’re offended by something written on a paper fucking cup.  Through it the fuck away!  The guy that wrote it lives in a different fucking country, how the hell can he possibly offend you?  Grow up, stop drinking your stupid ass coffee, and then die.  The end of it, hurts the most.

Baylor University, the world’s largest Baptist school, refused to comment on the issue, said KCEN-TV in central Texas. Employees at the campus Starbucks said none of their customers had complained about the cup, but they removed it nonetheless.”

No one complained about it, and yet they still removed it?  Come on for fuck sake.  Just put a plastic bag of non offense over all our heads and lets just end it.  Something that offends you does not give you the right to complain.  It gives you the right to stop interacting with it.  Don’t like what the cup says, throw it away.  Don’t like what that shirt says, don’t look.  Don’t like what I have to say, remove my website from your favorite list.  Have I ever mentioned how much I hate people?

Wankers

March 17th, 2007

So apparently, and I just learned this today.  So I’ll share it with you just in case you didn’t know this.  Apparently if you go to a strangers house to drink, and you see a slow cooker, cooking meat you have to turn it off without telling anyone that is what you did.  Why?  Cause you’re a fucking asshat.  So at dinner time, hungry and ready to eat, my meat isn’t done.  Insert your joke there, and lets move on so I can be pissed again.  I mean, fuck.  Fucking wankers.

Stupid People

November 29th, 2006

That’s right, its time for some stupid people. Here are some stories from travel agents. I think my favorite has to be the fact that Florida is very thin on a map.
Check them out.