Why I Ride

Published on February 1, 2010 in /dev and gooseneck. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , .

I just registered for Pelotonia today.  To ride 180 miles from Columbus, Ohio to Athens, Ohio and back to raise $2000 to fund cancer research at The Ohio State University Comprehensive Cancer Center – James Cancer Hospital and Solove Research Institute.  I just bought a bike earlier this month, and I’ve never done any serious biking before.  So why ride?

I need to get in shape.  With a group of friends who all ride it seemed like a perfect way to make exercise fun and social.  Plus you can never complain about getting outside for some fresh air.  My friends all did Pelotonia last year and came away from the ride inspired at what they had done.  Friends and family have been impacted by cancer, and it is not easy to live with for anyone.  So I’m going to ride.

So why would I jump in to Pelotonia and register to go 180 miles?  Why not 50 or 100?  Cancer doesn’t ease itself in and neither will I.  So I’m going to ride 180 miles and we’re going to raise $2000 and 100% of that will go to cancer research.  Together we’re going to help find a cure and put a stop to cancer once and for all.

Eostre, This is my Bike, This is my Gun

Published on January 27, 2010 in /dev and gooseneck. 0 Comments Tags: , , , .

So I’m already off to a good start this year.  That list will be gone in no time!  Getting this post up rather late, but better than never.

- Buy a road bike.

Got a super duper deal and one hell of a bike.  A 2009 Scott CR1 Pro.  Hells yeah!  I shall name her Eostre, and she shall be a mighty speedster of speeding.  Some pics of the unbox and the put together.

Swanky Cervelo box

Swanky Cervelo box

Hooray for Ultegra!

Hooray for Ultegra!

Bike so light it floats!

Bike so light it floats!

Super comfy seat pampers the goose.

Super comfy seat pampers the goose.

Eostre in front, Squirrel's speed monster in back.

Eostre in front, Squirrel's speed monster in back.

Like I said I got it a little over a week ago now.  Been spinning with it.  Absolutely love it.  I may be stationary while spinning, but I can tell I’m moving at ludicrous speeds.  I can’t wait for some good weather to get it out on the road.  Attach a few pew pew lasers and I’ll be invincible!  So that’s one goal down, nine to go.  And a third posting this month.  Might as well call me a journalist with all this entertainment I’m bringing you.  Heyo!  Till next time kiddos, take care and funk on!

2010, Less Future, More Bacon

Published on January 14, 2010 in /dev and gooseneck. 0 Comments Tags: , , .

So here I am, a little tea pot.  Short and stout.  Ready to bring you the future of goose.  As with most sequels you’ll probably bet this one will not be as good as the original.  You’d be wrong.  I promise future goose will be equally funny and entertaining as past goose.  How do I know?  He came back in time through his bacon powered time machine to tell me so.

Will this be another good year for goose?  Probably.  You can never be 100% certain but there is nothing stopping me from making it a good year.  Positive thinking right?  That’s the way to get ahead in this world.  That and a great set of melons.  Mostly the melons.  Melons………….

Where was I?  Oh yeah.  Techno.  So I promised I’d come up with my list of goals for the 2010 campaign.  Here it is in writing, on the internets.  Which means I’ll have to do it or else you’ll be able to taunt me and call my liar, liar, pants on fire.

- Buy a road bike.  Done.

- Ride my new road bike 180 miles from Columbus Ohio, to Athens, Ohio in Pelotonia.  It’s for cancer.

- Go faster than 26mph on my bike.  How high can I set the bar this year?

- Continue working that shape.  Man boobs begone!

- Reach my maximum Pelotonia weight before the ride.  240 pounds.  Can I hit 220?

- Get another certification.  Security+?  CCNA?  So many choices and I’ve got to do one.

- Read at least one book for “personal growth.” No picture books here my friends.  And not that kind of personal growth.  Dirty.  Filthy.  Minds.

- Reconnect with at least one friend each month.  Even with all our magical tube tools it’s so hard to stay in touch.

- Cook.  Something new.  Something other people would like to get in their bellies.  Bacon may need to be involved.

- Try something new.  I’ll toss in one stipulation for this one.  Can’t be bicycle related.

So there we go, ten goals to meet in 2010.  I’ll do it cause I’m awesome.  Can you come up with some goals and meet them this year?  Let’s try together.  Till then, take care and funk on.

2009, A Review

Published on January 6, 2010 in /dev and gooseneck. 0 Comments

So we’re officially in the future again.  Just like the year 2000, we can sit down and come up with a great and amazing list of all the awesome things we’re going to do in this new amazing future.  And I’ll be sure to get to mine soon.  There is plenty of time to not complete it and blame Canada for my failures.  So to prepare for the future we must study the past so that we may learn from those mistakes.  And repeat them.

And repeat them.

Is there an echo in here?  Probably.  You know, I saw a lot of people complaining about what a terrible year 2009 was for them.  I am genuinely sorry to here your year was less than stellar and hope that it wasn’t my gas that ruined the year.  I’m sorry, I was backed up a bit.  Did you lose your job?  Your home?  Your friends?  Family?  Your health?  If you answered yes, that is terrible, and I can only hope you gain them back in 2010.

If you answered no, then turn that frown upside down.  Your year was much better than the boob above.  Right?  Don’t just say you will make things better this year, but set some specific goals for yourself and then do them.  They say that is the way to success.  Making lists.  Not the top ten lists of 2009 that destroyed our souls worse than a polar bear attack.  But an actual useful list with detailed goals that you can work towards and achieve.  As the great and egotistical goose here’s my list from 2009.  Some “firsts” and some points of interest that I am proud of achieving for the year.  Then I’ll come back in a bit and post my goals for 2010.  Good.  Great!  GRAND!  NO YELLING ON THE BUS!

- Bought my first bed.  It is the WIN.

- Bought my first tv.  Shiny.

- Decided I need to not worry about my weight, but instead worry about my health and my shape.

- Got my mountain bike up to 26mph.

- Adopted my first pet.  Steve the Pirate.  Yeargh!

- People told me I look skinnier.

- Paid off my student loans.  Early.

- Got a promotion.

- Decided to buy a road bike and bike 180 miles in two days for Pelotonia.

Nine things.  Good for me.  I could of easily made a list of nine things that sucked about 2009.  But that does me no good.  Mostly cause I can’t honestly blame them on Canada.  Well maybe number four, but that isn’t the point.  The point is that if your glass is half empty get another beer.  We’ll get those goals up here soon.  Until then take care and funk on.

Goose Update Your Blog!

Published on September 6, 2009 in /dev and gooseneck. 1 Comment Tags: , , , .

So it’s been a while since I’ve updated the ole blog and lots of people have been complaining.  And since there has been at least some traffic still coming to the site I feel they are rather justified for a new post.  I get mixed complaints.  Some people want to know whats been going on in my life.  Others want more funny and angry rants.  I’d love to provide both.

And I would promise some ridiculous promise of how I’m going to give you an update once a week or once a day or whatever.  But we both know it won’t happen and it’ll only make me look like a wanker anyway.  I’m not one of those wankers.  But I can speak French.  In Russian.

Why has it been so hard to put up a simple little post saying “I got a cat!” or “Chicken makes me poo!”?  I have no idea.  I could do that.  But I’ve been playing with the googles, and the facebooks, and the twitters.  And it reminds me of the second greatest line from “He’s Just not that into You.”  Side note:  Who would of thought Drew Barrymore’s character left a memoriable quote?  But any way she says “And now you just have to go around checking all these different portals, just to get rejected by seven different technologies.  It’s exhausting.”

And that’s sort of how I’m feeling at this point.  Behind in keeping up and exhausted.  I am so far behind on my phone calls to people its crazy!  It’s with everything in my life right now, I feel like I’m one step behind at all times and I’m never able to catch up.  Now that generally isn’t a problem for me and my philosophy.  After all, I am the tortoise.

So now that we have all of the “Sorry for not posting, I promise to post more” bullshit we can get into an update about me.  After all that is what you’re here for.  Me.  You know, the important things in your life.  Well I’ve been biking a lot more this summer.  Getting better at it too.  I no longer look like a fat guy willing a bicycle to not move.  I’m really starting to enjoy it and looking to get more serious about.  I’ve started saving for a more road friendly bike.  Hooray!  People say I’m slimming down, but I don’t see it.  I suppose I wouldn’t.  I’d post those picture a day to see how much I’ve changed things, but my boobs are just not flattering.  I won’t lie.  But I’m working on that, and that’s what counts.

I bought my first tv this spring.  Hooray!  It’s interesting, I’m starting to get my own things now instead of just hand me downs and borrowed items, I’m actually getting my very own shinys.  Got a new desktop that’s so very very prettah.  I love it much.  Had some memories issues with it, but hopefully those have been taken care of (Fingers crossed.)  I got a brand new kittah!  His name is Steve the Pirate.  He isn’t shiny, but he’s awesome.  And a pirate.  Win win.

I went to my ten year high school reunion the beginning of the month.  I was really interested to go back and see all these friends I had from high school and blah blah blah.  As I was driving up to the D for it, I started remembering how I hung out with a large majority of people not in my class, and I started worrying.  Fortunately there were quite a few people there I knew, and a good time was had by all.  It was interesting to see how many people were still in the general area.

So I think that’s enough of an update for now.  Hit on the larger items of the last few months plus.  As for what’s coming up?  Football!  I am so pumped about college football this season.  I can not wait.  First big event is tailgating for OSU vs. USC.  Gonna be a sweet time.  Got a couple of new projects I’ve begun working on, as well as an older one I’ve started thinking about again.  Not ready to announce anything yet, still milling things over for them, once I’m more ready for them, I’ll be sure to let people know.  I’ll try to do my best about putting updates here.  No promises, I’m only a soulless asshole after all.  If we’re inbetween posts and you’re itching for a gooseneck update, be sure to pop over to the facebooks or the twitters.  Plenty of completely useless ramblings from me there.

So until next time, take care and funk on.

You can have your MTV

Published on November 20, 2008 in Music and Stupid People. 2 Comments Tags: , , .

So you might of caught this, you might not of.  I wanted to write about it when they launched the site, but the sheer magnitude of the site caused my brain to turn into pudding.  Which I ate.  And pooped out.  Then I put it back in my head and used it fertilizer to grow a new brain.  That’s why it took so long.  Anywho, some of you older hipsters might recall a time when the television reigned supreme for our entertainment.  Along those lines came a glorious addition to tv.  It was the M.  The music to your tv if you will.  It was this channel, that played music.  Like all the time.  They had these visual “videos” to go with the music.  Everyone was happy and rejoiced.  Hooray!  And then they broke it.  This masterful channel that played music videos and talked about music all day stopped showing anything remotely close to music.  In fact they stopped showing anything coming close to entertainment.  The masses became angry and said “I want my MTV!” Oh snap!  So like any huge corporation that’s totally evil and not looking out for the comrade’s people’s interest they came out with MTV2.  And it played music all the time, and the people were happy.  Hooray!  Then they broke that and came out with twelve other mtv channels that no one watches.  Lord I should know, I get them all.  I haven’t watched MTV since I finished puberty(Last week.)

So what have they done now?  Well with the onset of the netterwebs and the obvoius follow up of monetizing the netterwebs came mtv.com.  Great!  A website dedicated to information about the music tv channel that never plays music.  At least they have music videos there.  Thats cool.  Too bad the site became a giant cluster fuck of ads about the hills or some stupid shit.  Do you see where this is going yet?  Oh I sure didn’t.  They came from behind and yanked on my penis.  Hard.  And not the good hard.  Because MusicTV’s website, mtv.com, was so clustered, they decided to created mtvmusic.com a website dedicated to music videos.  They called their site MusicTVMusic.  StupidFuckingStupid.  But then again werefuckingwankers.com and imagiantdouche.com were taken.  It’s so hard to find good domains these days.  The tag line for the site is “I want my MTV.”  No kidding.  So do I.

In their defense, the site ain’t half bad.  Tons of videos with a nice design.  Not too many ads, but I’m sure they’ll get that fixed here soon.  The one complaint I have is the quality.  It’s terrible.  I mean sure, I get it, they didn’t shoot Thriller in HD.  But why do brand new music videos look like they were stolen off of some twelve year old’s rip he posted on youtube?  I get you haven’t been able to monetize this yet, but you have the cash to provide some high quality music videos and a chance to get a whole new generation to understand what MTV was suppose to be.  And guess what if people heard about this awesome new site from MTV where they have high quality music videos people would come and watch videos there.  You’ve provided no reason to leave youtube when looking for music videos.  I know I hate looking for a music video on youtube, instead of the video you get some kid playing the base line with some midi track on a keyboard.  Isn’t that the intention of putting up this website?  If not pardon me, and don’t forget to enjoy your tard.  Take care and funk on.

P.S.  You can have your MTV.

More Certifications

Published on November 16, 2008 in /dev and gooseneck. 2 Comments Tags: , , .
Network Certification

This past week I became Network+ Certified.  Hooray!  Another raise and this swanky graphic to swing around.  Spanked it.  Well I didn’t spank it I’ll be honest.  I suppose it would be more accurate to say I love tapped the exam.  I am after all a lover, not a fighter(Or judger.)

So thats been what I’ve spent the majority of the last few months doing.  Studying.  And riding my bike alot.  Oh and trying not to die on the Ohio highways by the hands of Ohio drivers.  For those of you not in the know about Ohio drivers, if you ever come to visit and its raining expect to drive 15 under the speed limit.  That’s the only possible safe driving speed in a light drizzle.

So what shall I be doing now?  Well the next certification I need is Security+ which I hear is super ultra fun.  They just updated it too so I might hold off for a bit.  Ubuntu 8.10 came out a few weeks ago, and I’d love to get all up in that and check it out.  Plus I’ve been interested in the Fallout 3.  Do you have any idea how long its been since I’ve played a video game?  No you don’t.  It’s been a while.  Plus I need to ride my bike.  It’s alot like flying a kite, because it ryhmes.  But it doesn’t invole flying.  Or kites.  It’d be awesome if it did.

Body massage.

Certification

Published on August 3, 2008 in /dev and gooseneck. 2 Comments Tags: , , , .

This past week I passed the CompTIA 220-601 and 220-602 exams and became A+ certified.  Not the most impressive of certifications that are out there, but it gets me a raise.  Plus it is one of the few positive steps I’ve taken in my life in a long time.  So I’ll take what I can get and call it success.  Now on to Network+.  There’s no rest for the wicked.

Isn’t it Ironic

Published on July 29, 2008 in Comedy, Stupid People and gooseneck. 2 Comments Tags: , , .

So I called my old cell phone provider to cancel my service.  Like you do when you get an iPhone.  He keeps trying to retain me.  Like you do when retention is your job.  Other than the iPhone one of the reasons I gave was due to the fact that since I’ve moved to Columbus I’ve had alot of random calls drops, voicemails with no calls, and so forth.  General connectivity oddities(Say that three times fast.)  He went on and on about how they’re always working on improving the coverage and how I hadn’t called before about it.  I said it wasn’t a huge deal, but can get frustrating when calls just randomly drop.  He said he understood, and by this point I had played the game and let him attempt to retain.  So he said he set my account to cancel at the end of the billing cycle, which is in a couple of weeks, and was reading through the disclaimers and things he is required to say when guess what happened.

The call dropped.  Heyo!  It’s like I’m some sort of smarty pants sub-genuis type.  Now to call them back and make sure it canceled.  Oh, no.  He canceled it right then, that’s why it dropped.  Good customer service?

iPhone Makes my Pants Happy

Published on July 23, 2008 in gooseneck. 1 Comment Tags: , .

So I got my iPhone last night. Fucking awesome! I am in love with thing. Blogging from my phone is pretty sweet. Oh yeah!